I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
