Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
