So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize