I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
