i can't believe i had my finger in that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
