left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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