My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
