break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
