erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
