plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
as a side note pls kill me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
