It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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