Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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