Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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