You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
