thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
