do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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