Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
