SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
