you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
