were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
