Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
