did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
