But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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