I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
