My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
