So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
