We're facebook friends in real life
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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