your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
