I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When are your genitals available?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize