i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
