You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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