Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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