i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
