no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
