I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize