I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
two words: eviction party
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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