Nicole vs. Life
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
