DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
