No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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