Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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