Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize