she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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