hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize