We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
i now understand why vodka
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
