but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
