Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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