Slut skills are useful in every country.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
