Porn is love you can see.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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