But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
