I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We're too hungover to prance.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
