Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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