I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
