i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
