Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
