9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
did you just send me my own nude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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