Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize