I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
