Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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