I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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