yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
